total eclipse of the heart
by soccerputte
Summary: alex marissa break up thoughts from both of them in two different chapters to the song total eclipse of the heart. please read and review
1. Chapter 1

Here is a new story from me and I hope that you will all like it, please let me know what you think of it.

This story is divided in two parts, both of them is written in first person point of view, but one is from Alex perspective and the other one is from Marissa's and I'm not sure on which is which I think that you could apply both of them to both parts and I would like to know how you read this.

Disclaimer: I don't own the OC it belongs to its rightful owners I am just using the fandom to write this. The song that has given the title to this is Total Eclipse of the Heart, there are a few versions but I am thinking of the Bonnie Taylor version and I don't own that, so I would recommend listening to it.

Total Eclipse of the Heart

_**Part 1**_

_Turn around every now and then I get a little bit lonely and you're never coming round__  
__Turn around every now and then I get a little bit tired of listening to the sound of my tears__  
__Turn around every now and then I get a little bit nervous that the best of all the years have gone by__  
__Turn around every now and then I get a little bit terrified and then I see the look in your eyes_

I can remember that night so clearly. I can't honestly say how it came to this end but I wish that I could then maybe I could do something so that it would be some other way. As I saw that you walked away I prayed that you would turn around and if you did just that then I would know that you still cared about me.

If you turned around then I would be able to see your eyes again, your bright eyes.

I wish that I would have gone after you that night or the day after that, just so that I would have been able to talk to you before you left. After you left my tears started to fall and they haven't stopped falling and I'm not sure that they ever will. I so tired of hearing myself cry myself to sleep every night and I think that my friends are feeling the same.

It has been so damn long since that night not a week, not a month, not a year. It have been longer than that, I don't know how long time it has been but it have been longer than it should have. The first months and year or so I was nervous that the time had passed by too fast.

Now to this day I am afraid that all the best years have passed and I haven't spent them with you, I have spent them all alone and I know deep down in my heart that was not the way that you wanted this to end up that is how I ended up in the long haul. I was with someone for the first year or so, that's a lie it was a lot of different people, no one compare to you and still don't know why I was looking for someone else when I knew who it would be that I was supposed to be looking for.

And I can remember the look in your eyes when you turned around at one point and it was just for a second and couldn't do a single thing. I was just frozen in that one spot where I was standing and I wish that I could have taken at least on step towards you that might have meant that you would have stayed here with me in some way.

I myself often find myself turn around when I see someone on the street that reminds me of you, and most of the time I find myself do a double check just to make sure that it isn't you that is walking down there, And when I see the look in the woman's eyes I kind of get a little scared because that is the look in your eyes that I see when you walked away.

___Turn around, bright eyes Every now and then I fall apart__  
__Turn around, bright eyes Every now and then I fall apart__  
_

I can still remember the light in your eyes. The truth is that your eyes are the brightest that I have ever seen and I know that I will never see those again. And when I think about that I fall apart and there is nothing that I can think of that I can do so that I will see your eyes again.

I kind of hope that you one day will come to me and tell me what to do so that I can see your eyes again.

All I wanted was for you to turn around that night so that I could see you one last time so that I knew that I did the right thing but you never turned around and there for I will never know if I did the right thing.

But when I listen to my heart I know the answer to that question but I can't still say the answer out loud that would just mean that it would be real and that is one thing that I don't want it to be.

_And I need you now tonight and I need you more than ever__  
__And if you only hold me tight We'll be holding on forever__  
__And we'll only be making it right 'cause we'll never be wrong__  
__Together we can take it to the end of the line__  
__Your love is like a shadow on me all of the time (all of the time)__  
__I don't know what to do and I'm always in the dark__  
__We're living in a powder keg and giving off sparks__  
__I really need you tonight, forever's gonna start tonight__  
__Forever's gonna start tonight__  
_

Tonight is one of those nights that I feel the most alone and I know that if you would have been here with me I wouldn't be feeling alone. I know that I need you, I need you more know then I have ever needed someone and I don't know why that is.

If you had your arms around me I know that I would tell you to hold on me forever and even if you couldn't do that I know that I would be holding on to you forever.

I know that what I feel for you could never be wrong, not for me and not for you but at the same time I know that there are people that think that what I feel for you is wrong but if the two of us where here together I know that we could finish this race that we are in together to the end and that is all that matter to me.

I know that you loved me and that love makes it so much harder for me to move on like I know that I should be doing. Your love is like a shadow over my heart and over me, it is there all the time. Your love for me was so strong and I hold on to it more than I should and that means that I don't know what I am supposed to do. I just feel like I am in the dark and I can't find the light that I need to move on. I hate that shadow it makes everything so much darker and I honestly think that you are the only one that can make that shadow shrink and in the end go away so that my life once again can be brighter, that is all that I want.

We lived together and maybe that is the reason that I can't find the light that need. Maybe you were the light in the dark for me and that when we were together it gave me some kind of sparks to lighten up the darkness inside of me when you weren't there with me but now that you are gone those sparks is nowhere to be found.

All I know is that I really need you tonight but I have no idea on where I would be able to find you. There are too much going on in my life for me to want to find you, all I want is for you to come to my door and just stand there looking at me and smiling so that your eyes are as bright as I remember them and that the smile that you sometimes have also will be there, that is all that I am asking for.

Because I know if you would be standing there I know that the forever that I have been looking for will be starting tonight. That is all that I want.

I want for forever to start tonight, that isn't too much to ask for right.


	2. Chapter 2

Here is the next part of this story and it is the last one and I hope that you all will enjoy it I would love to know what you think and I wanted to say thanks for the feedback on the previous part and once again I would love to know if you read this from Alex's perspective for from Marissa's, and when you tell me I will reply and tell you who I used in the different parts but there is no right or wrong.

Total Eclipse of the Heart

_**Part 2**_

_Once upon a time I was falling in love, but now I'm only falling apart__  
__There's nothing I can do... a total eclipse of the heart__  
__Once upon a time there was light in my life, but now there's only love in the dark__  
__Nothing I can say... a total eclipse of the heart__  
_

I met this girl when I was younger. I know how that sounds, everyone does that sometime during their youth but everyone also says that you will heal but I'm not sure that is true. I know that you never really get over your first love but you are supposed to move on from that. That is as far from the truth you can come, that is one thing that I know. All I know is that I am falling apart and that is from the same person that I fell in love with.

You would think that knowing that would be the worst part of this, knowing that I am falling apart because of her, but that isn't the worst part for me and I know that it sounds strange but the worst part for me is that there is nothing that I can do to make this go away for me, there is just one thing that I can think of when I'm trying to tell people around me what I am feeling the only thing that I can think of is that this is a total eclipse of the heart and I know that it sounds like I am giving up but I'm not giving up all I know is that I need her in my life.

My life feels like I am trapped in the dark and it is the dark that I can find love, because when it is dark I can close my eyes and sleep and that is when I can see her again. She is in my dreams every night and that is why I want to sleep and never wake up. She is there.

My life is as I said dark but there was at one point light and that was when she was here with me or when I was with her. I am hoping that there will be light sometime again in my life but I don't know what it is that I can do so that I will be seeing her again. There have been people both female and male that I have tried to replace her with but there have never been anyone that could compare to her. Honestly there hasn't been anyone that have been close to take her place.

I wish that there was something that I could say about this but there are no words that I can use to describe what it is that I am feeling, well that is not true there are one sentence that I can use.

It is a total eclipse of the heart for me.

_Turn around bright eyes, Every now and then I fall apart__  
__Turn around bright eyes, Every now and then I fall apart_

I still can remember how it felt as I walked away from her, that is right. I was the one that left her. And now I am the one that can't live here, I miss her and I don't know what it was that made me do just that.

When I walked away all I wanted to do was to turn around and take one more look into those bright eyes, they were always so clear when she smiled, like there was nothing in this world that could compare to those bright eyes. I was so close to turn around and I kind of wish that she had asked me to turn around because if she had done that I would have turned around.

At times I fall apart and I know that it has to do with that, I was falling apart as I walked away from her. I wasn't just walking away from her I was walking away from my life and that was one of the hardest things that I have ever done.

All I wanted was to her to call my name so that I could turn around and look into her eyes. But there was a moment there when I did turn around to look at her but she had her back towards me but I couldn't call her name maybe if I had been braver then maybe I wouldn't be here where I am today.

A place where I am falling apart.

_And I need you now tonight__  
__And I need you more than ever__  
__And if you'll only hold me tight__  
__We'll be holding on forever__  
__And we'll only be making it right__  
__Cause we'll never be wrong together__  
__We can take it to the end of the line__  
__Your love is like a shadow on me all of the time (all of the time)__  
__I don't know what to do, I'm always in the dark__  
__We're living in a powder keg and giving off sparks__  
__I really need you tonight__  
__Forever's gonna start tonight__  
__Forever's gonna start tonight__  
_

Time passed by like it always did I have no idea on how much time has passed by since that night all I know is that it is years that have passed by and that I need her tonight.

There are nights that are harder than others and this is one of those nights, it's the dreams that is hunting me and there is nothing that I can do. All I know is that I need her more than I have ever needed her tonight, it is like the dreams are worse tonight and I have no idea what the dreams are about because when I wake up in the morning I can never remember them maybe she is there with me and that something is happening to her or something is going to happen to her.

I know when it was when it was that I felt the safest and that was when she was laying in the bed next to me, I can be awake and close my eyes and when I do just that I can feel her next to me, she is just laying there and when I relax it's like I can feel her arms around me. She is holding on to me, really tight like she never want to let go and that is just what I want from her.

I want her to hold on to me, that is the way that we can make it right together. When we are together there is nothing that can go wrong or be wrong that is the best part, there is nothing that is wrong when I am with her that is all that I know. By holding on to each other and never let go we will make it together to the end and that is all that I want.

When we were living together it was light and bright in my life and now it is dark and I don't know what I should do to make it better, the love that I felt and the love that I think and hope that you felt is like a shadow over me and I don't know what I can do to make it do away so that my life will get brighter. I can't tell you or anyone else what it is that I am supposed to do because that is something that I don't know, because I am always in the dark where I have been since that night.

Together we could give away sparks that could light up a room or keep us warm as we laid there together and looked at each other and that is the only time that I smile when I think about us and what we used to be, all I want is for that to happen again.

I want some kind of forever and you are the one that can give me that. I want for forever to start tonight with you but I don't know what to do make that happen can you please tell me. I think that I know where I can find you but I don't think that I am brave enough to go there so that I can talk to you.

Please, I need you more than ever tonight and I want forever to start tonight.

_Once upon a time I was falling in love__  
__But now I'm only falling apart__  
__Nothing I can say__  
__A total eclipse of the heart__  
__A total eclipse of the heart_

I stood there on the beach where it all had happened and as I looked out over the ocean I could hear that someone was walking up and standing there next to me and I wished that I would be you that would be standing there and I turned around all I wanted was to meet a pair of bright eyes but as I did all I could do was to fall apart, it wasn't you that was standing there it was someone else.

There is not a word that I can say all that I can think of is that this is a total eclipse of the heart, there is just one thing that I can do to be sure that I will be able to survive this and that is to hide my whole heart until the day that you will be here with again.

And this is the story that I am going to tell in the future, how I once upon the time in my life I was falling in love and all that I do know is falling apart.

And then after that I will tell them that had that love with me but I lost it and that there is nothing that I can do it's just a total eclipse of the heart._  
_


End file.
